THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
John Termini, man of few words.
Why Americans don't immigrate to Arab Countries
THEIR CULTURE
OUR CULTURE
I REST MY CASE!!
********************************************************************
Thanks to Tony Moscicki for sending this one in.
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife's not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.
Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.
Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.
Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.
Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.
Good : You just gave "the birds and the bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections.
Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend
Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do.
source
http://www.quarterhorsecav.org/WEEK1.HTM
WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTERAugust 2007 - Week 1
Tags: | Edit Tags
Monday July 30, 2007 - 09:50pm (ICT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Groaners
Groaners
#yiv441491269 P { PADDING-RIGHT:0px;PADDING-BOTTOM:0px;MARGIN:0px;PADDING-TOP:0px;} #yiv441491269 { FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma;}
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.* What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.* A backward poet writes inverse.* In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.* If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blown apart.* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.* A calendar's days are numbered.* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.* A boiled egg is hard to beat.* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.* A plateau is a high form of flattery.* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.Reading all of these was Punishment!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See what's free at AOL.com.
source
Y! ID: gashewolf56 >
Date: Thu, 3 May 2007 14:58:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Lynn Seals"
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Fwd: Groaners
pixsource
Y! ID: gashewolf56 >
Top Page | Blog | Friends | Lists | Groups
Lynn Seals, 51 Smyrna, Georgia US School: Life Date: Wed, 18 Apr 2007 13:51:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Lynn Seals"
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Fwd: FW: How True It Is...... nice one
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét